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The Time Traveler's Lament

by Naomi Hinchen

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Benjamin Newman
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lyrics

The trouble started one day when I went downstairs to clean
And found what looked like blueprints to construct a time machine
I don’t know how they got there on that dusty basement shelf
I think that maybe they were planted by my future self
The plans weren’t hard to implement and once the paint had dried
I pushed the big red button and I took it for a ride

Spoken: I mean, was I supposed to not build a time machine? Come on.

It sounds like an adventure, having time at your command
But once I started traveling it soon got out of hand
I meddled with the timestream, and now it’s plain to see
That time travel’s not everything that it’s cracked up to be

I went to see my grandparents in 1955
I thought I’d pay a visit back when they were still alive
But it was my first trip and so I didn’t understand
That I should check ahead where the machine was due to land
So when I parked that time machine I’d worked so hard to build
It landed on my grandfather and he was nearly killed

Spoken: In fairness, nearly wiping yourself from existence is a time traveler rite of passage.

(Chorus)

Well, family was clearly out; instead I thought I’d see
A couple greatest hits from olden days of history
So I embarked with gusto on my timestream tourist cruise
In hindsight maybe Salem was a foolish place to choose
I realized my mistake in time and quickly pulled the switch
And barely made it out before they hanged me for a witch

Spoken: And let me tell you, those Puritans have no sense of humor.

(Chorus)

Another thing I realized as through history I ranged
The tiniest disruption and my future might be changed
I took no souvenirs and kept my journeys to a few
To minimize disruption and preserve the past I knew
But I’ve learned that I can’t assume what might change time or not
I once stepped on a butterfly and JFK got shot

Spoken: Yeah, yeah, sorry, that one was my bad. Sorry guys.

(Chorus)

I think it’s for the best I bring my travels to an end
But just to close the loop there’s one last trip that I intend
I’ve packed up all my blueprints in this sturdy cardboard box
So I can leave them for myself to stave off paradox
But if I gave myself the plans on some clandestine visit
Then who designed this time machine and whose idea is it?

Spoken: You know what, it's probably best if you don't think about that part too hard.

(Chorus)

credits

released October 27, 2022

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Naomi Hinchen Cambridge, Massachusetts

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