Computer Loves You

by Naomi Hinchen

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This song is dedicated to Janelle Shane and her quirky AI experiments. She really did set an AI the task of generating conversation heart slogans, and all the AI messages in the lyrics are from her results. More info:
www.aiweirdness.com/candy-heart-messages-written-by-a-18-02-09/
www.aiweirdness.com/more-candy-hearts-by-neural-network-18-02-12/
www.aiweirdness.com/this-time-i-didnt-train-a-neural-20-02-14/
www.aiweirdness.com/okay-gpt-3-candy-hearts/

lyrics

Computers can be funny things, we think of them as smart
But try and make an algorithm write a candy heart
You’ll get a few like LOVE BUN that might pass a Turing test
And lots and lots of nonsense like the rants of one possessed

Their hearts say MOUTHY HAMSTER or put (SHUFFLE) in parens
But I prefer to see their answers through a different lens
Their output is peculiar but it’s certainly not bland
And maybe we’re the ones who need to learn to understand

AIs might say T-REX to mean YOU GO GIRL
Could be that BIOHAZARD means BE TRUE
WICKED EAT A TREE might be how they say EMAIL ME
And maybe ANTS CAN STAY means I LOVE YOU, oo-oo-oo,
And maybe ANTS CAN STAY means I LOVE YOU

We ask them for sweet nothings and get BEANS and OKAY BRO
But maybe they’re just speaking in a language we don’t know
Expressing their affection in the only voice they’ve got
Where it comes out as STACK BEAR or NO BLINKING or HOW COT

AIs might say HORSE LOOP for FRIENDS 4EVER
I’M YOURS might be GOD BLESS YOU UNDEAD CREW
LOVE 2000 HOGS YEA might be AI-speak for BEST DAY
And maybe FLYING WHALE means I LOVE YOU, oo-oo-oo,
And maybe FLYING WHALE means I LOVE YOU

You might think it eccentric that I find these sayings sweet
But who can fathom what might cause one’s heart to skip a beat
So when I’m feeling lonely looking for a Valentine
I’ll tell my laptop WOOF HOOFHOOF and hope it hears BE MINE

AIs might say MILD FEEL to mean MY HERO
Could be ALL HAIL THE CHICKEN means I DO
HOT STUFF MY BODY IS… you know what, that one works as is
And maybe KITTEN BAND means I LOVE YOU, oo-oo-oo,
And maybe CANDY HOLE means I LOVE YOU, oo-oo-oo,
And maybe SUPER BEAR means I LOVE YOU

credits

released October 27, 2022

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Naomi Hinchen Cambridge, Massachusetts

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